I have a 20 page paper due in 3 hours

"Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you ain't gettin' bagged stay the fuck from police (uh-huh)
If niggaz think you snitchin' ain't tryna listen
They be sittin' in ya kitchen, waitin' to start hittin'"
Biggie Smalls

Were my lovely coworker part of the game she'd have been shot to shit by some crack king's muscle by now. I showed up to work 15 minutes late today (mind you my shift starts at 7:45 am and it's fucking 10 degrees outside and the library opens at 8:00 am) and I said, "Elena, I'm really, really sorry for being so late." She rolled her eyes at me and huffed and puffed and blew my house down and was all pissy like I'M A DUMB CUNT AND DID EVERYTHING ALREADY BLAH BLAH BLAH MY MIDDLE NAME IS UPTIGHT AND I'M A MATH MAJOR AND I DIDN'T GET INTO COLUMBIA AND I'M ONLY TAKING THREE CLASSES AND I'M A REALLY GOOD BALLROOM DANCER YOU CAN TELL FROM ALL THE TROPHIES I'VE WON BLAH BLAH BLAH AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY COLLEGE STUDENTS FEEL THE NEED TO DRINK I JUST DON'T GET IT.

I tried to lighten the mood by being like, "wow Elena, you are brave for going out in this weather with wet hair." Taking showers on a semi-regular basis might be the only thing I have in common with her so it was easy to pick a topic of conversation. But apparently that comment helped to lodge the stick even further up her ass and gave her an easy opening to spit some of her lame-ass attitude at me because she was like, "Well, I didn't have time to dry my hair, because I was running late and wanted to be on time." I ceased communication with her at this point.

My boss showed up (she was also at least 10 minutes late, but of course since she drives a car and is a single parent she has an incontestable scapegoat for her persistent failure to be punctual) and she and Elena began a series of hushed conversations in my boss's office about how I was late. I got called into my boss's office and was reminded of how important it is to be on time. Now Elena is back in the boss's office and this time the door is closed so I can't hear anything. I think Elena is trying to teach my boss how to make a Word document double-spaced.

funny thing is that dumb bitch was 25 minutes late the other week and I told my boss she was outside collecting the newspapers so she wouldn't get yelled at, ya know, karma will repay me in some other form or fashion or in my next life or something right