SpRiNg BrEaK!!!!

Things I do while doing work:
• Look at facebook
• Rummage through my backpack
• Check my email
• Check my other email
• Check my other email that I made in sixth grad and only gets messages from facebook and my landlords
• Check facebook
• Look behind me to make sure no one can see me on facebook
• Think about what I look like from behind
• Look behind me to make sure no one is looking at me from behind
• Check my phone for messages
• drink
• See if anyone is on gchat.
• Avoid people on gchat
• Sigh
• Forget my deskmates are there
• Stare at my deskmates
• Rummage through papers
• Organize papers
• Look at my syllabi
• Go to the bathroom to pee
• Drink
• Make emergen c
• Hear a sound behind me, see if anyone is there
• Nobody is there
• Go to the bathroom as if I’m going to pee, but really just wash my hands and fix my hair
• Stare out the window
• Open the window
• Close the window
• Open multiple documents at once and move between them, so that later when I am looking for valuable information, I have no idea which document I saved it under. Especially because they’re all saved under have wildly uninformative titles like ‘cock-a-block’, ‘collection’, ‘that huge book’ [which does not consist of notes on that huge book], and ‘LESBIANS.’
• Make a calendar
• Google map and trimet [public transportation system] the routes for places I plan on going in the future
• Not believe trimet when it tells me I have to take 3 buses, wait 14 minutes and walk for 27 minutes
• Scour the trimet website for a way to prove them wrong
• Scour sesamestreet.org for points that prove my thesis without me having to do anything.
• Floss
• drink
• If I am wearing boots, and have my period, stick tampons in my boots. Subtle and prepared.
• Think about what I look like form the side
• Worry that people see me form the side
• Write one sentence
• Take a break
• Check my own blog
• Google terms loosely related to my thesis
• Google things not at all related to my thesis
• Look up books for my thesis when I should be writing it
• Check facebook
• Look behind me
• Make emergen c
• Stare at my books
• Drink
• Change positions
• Change amount of clothes I am wearing
• Do my hair
• Put on chapstick
• Take 3 advil
• Take a “nap”
• Get water
• Take pills
• Check what color seasonal socks my deskmate has on
• Make extensive outlines
• Write lists like this
• Make myself notes about the things I have to read/should check out or do
• send myself emails about the things I have to read/should check out or do
• google internships
• google jobs
• google google on accident because I’m using the google box in the corner and thinking of using google
• delete my internet history because I’m upset I’ve gone to facebook so many times
• open a new document where I will put together all the things I need
• open about seven more of those document and copy and paste the other stuff and not know which one is the most recent version
• forget words
• google words I think the word is like to try to find it
• listen to music
• go on ichat
• regret going on ichat
• regret listening to music
• get annoyed that the kid behind me is so creepy
• forget I’m wearing earrings
• forget I’m not wearing earrings
• play with the zippers on my boots (if I am wearing those boots)
• read the chain mail my grandmother sent me
• take my shoes off
• worry that my feet smell, and put my shoes back on
• chew gum
• fidget
• rock back and forth
• puke everywhere.

Next week: things I'd rather be doing when I'm doing work!!
AND A SHOUT OUT TO MAH GURL MOCHI, HAPPY B-DAY BABY!! GET READY BOYZ, SHE'S 17, LET THE COUNTDOWN BEGIN, 365 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!! (If you're a minor, hit that shit now while you still can)