A (Spectacular) Year in Review

BANGCARRIEANDMARIKA.BLOGSPOT.COM: THE INAUGURAL BIRTHDAY BASH (BANG), BROUGHT TO YOU BY GOOGLE FIGHTGEIST

Site Visits: 1381  

Pageviews: 2558

Number of Unique Visitors: 468

Site hits for which Marika, Carrie and Simona were responsible: ~98%

MARIKA, CARRIE AND SIMONA: 1

EVERYONE ELSE: 0

Number of countries we banged: 31

Most frequent countries: USA, France, Brazil (weird? who the hell do we know in Brazil?), Ireland, Canada, Nepal (WTF?), Czech Republic, Spain

USA 1

EVERYWHERE ELSE 0

Number of visits from Israel: 11

Number of visits from Palestinian territories: 3

ISRAEL 1

PALESTINE 0 (YOU LOSE, MUSLIMS. WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME cough *war against terror* cough)

Search terms that brought people to our blog (in descending order, favorites are bolded): arthur frumkin (weird), bangcarrieandmarika.blogspot.com, my name, bangcarrieandmarika, john stamos, simona zappas, tufts winter bash, "arthur frumkin," "cum on my cheeseburger before i eat it," "he was just showing off," "simona zappas," +schmchel-rachel, clam vagina, crossing borderlines in friendship if i'm gay, god made someone special for us, god was just showing off when he made the black woman, god was showing off when he made me, god was showing off when he made you commpliment [sic], handj, juice? no thanks, i'm not thirsty, marika little san antonio, my nudez, pig nipples picture, piglet mallory knots, romance fuck man, sexpiration, the god made us people is that true, when god created me he was just showing off, when god made someone he was just showing off, when god made us, when god made you he was just showing off 

GOOGLE, SIMONA ZAPPAS AND ARTHUR FRUMKIN 1

EVERYTHING ELSE 0

 Number of people who've drunkenly admitted to me that they read this blog but then refuse to say hi to me when they see me on campus: ~17

ALCOHOL 1

BEING SOBER 0

Number of people who've told me they read this blog but that the other blog I partake in & get paid for, which is "professional," is "boring": ~6

LEWD GENITALIA JOKES 1

EUROPEAN POLITICS 0

Number of family members, superiors and coworkers I've feared would find this blog and tell me they've seen it: Countless

Number of family members, superiors and coworkers who've told me they've seen this blog: 0 (knock on wood)

ME 1

MY FAMILY MEMBERS, SUPERIORS AND COWORKERS 0

Number of posts about Sarah Bliss or her parents: A billion

Number of posts about you or your parents: 0

BLISS AND HER PARENTS 1

YOU AND YOUR PARENTS 0

AND THE WINNERS ARE: Marika Zappas, Simona Zappas, the USA, Israel, Arthur Frumkin, lewd genitalia jokes, Me, Bliss and her parents.

Some of my year-end personal bests:

The time I took an EPT in the basement-level bathroom of a QuickBurger on the Champs Elysees on Easter Sunday because it was the only place with a public restroom that was open and I didn't have the keys to my apartment with me.

The time I decided being an economics major as opposed to an English major would somehow work out better for me. It hasn't yet.

The time that Maddie Burras (mad love for that girl) and I decided it would be a good idea to drink bottomless glasses of champagne at our year-end study abroad cocktail party and shamelessly badger/try to flirt with our very sober poli sci professor (a really renowned French political scientist who HAS A WIFE AND KIDS BUT MIGHT BE GAY), and then when he wasn't receptive to it, explain to him in broken French how one of our male classmates had accidentally tried to hook up with a 16 year old French girl.

The time I woke up on my couch at 5 a.m., covered in fake blood and wearing a prom dress with no idea where I was, and called a few people to ask them, in all seriousness, if I'd taken something and was hallucinating. They didn't pick up and they didn't think the messages I left them were funny.

The time I let one someone give me a tattoo in the shape of a keystone with a sewing needle and ink bought from Wal-Mart.

The time I got slapped in the face by a 3-year old French girl I was babysitting, on the street, on one of the richest and most conservative blocks in Paris.

The time I woke up with my head at the foot of the bed at 6 am, coat and shoes and lights on, and looked at my iPod, which was in my hand and had just finished playing the entire Sleater Kinney discography, which I'd cued up with the intention of staying conscious for the entire thing.

The summer I spent living (by day) the life of a stay-at-home mother, but without a husband, and without kids.

The time I decided it would be a good idea to accept a ride home at 3 am from a weird French guy with a soul patch in an Audi, and then ended up fearing for my life as we got on the highway and drove away from the city and he told me we were just going to "take a little tour," all the while his GPS system screaming at us in French, "WRONG WAY, WRONG WAY."

The time I took many long hiatuses from updating this blog.

The time I decided to forgo my paper and my studying to write the longest, most self-indulgent blog post in history.

*OH, LIFE, U ARE LIKE, SOOO CRAZY SOMETIMES.*
I MISS YOU MARIKA. THE END