Reclaiming (or reCLAMing) My Youth

My very very kind friend sent me a link to this product. I think she was trying to give me a hint.
"No more worry about losing your virginity. With this product, you can have your first night back anytime. Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood [ew] not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groans, you will pass through undetectable [do you realize how great this will be for brothels? Every girl's a virgin!]. Its easy to use, clinically proven non-toxic to human and has no side effects, no pain to use and no allergic reaction [what IS this magic substance?].

Feature:

• Easy to use
  
• Place inside vagina 15-20 minutes before intercourse
• Soluble and expandable at body heat
• Clinically proven non-toxic to human
• No side effects, no pain to use, no allergic reaction
• Made in Japan
• This item will be shipped from China [???]"

The best part, however, is in the comments:

Scott.C Says:
January 20th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Bought one for my daughter as she lost her virginity during a party. Didnt convince her boyfriend and she has subsequently been 'dumped' [so not dumped, just 'dumped'?] by her boyfriend because she "lied about her virginity" and im now faced with the task of cheering her up (going to be very expensive!) [?!?!?!?!?!]. DO NOT BUY!!!

HOPE DADDY'S GOT $$$