Portrait of the Menstrual Artist as a Young Woman

GOD FORBID SOMETHING MAKES US THINK ABOUT PERIOD BLOOD
LIKE SERIOUSLY IT SHOULD BE AMENDED TO THE 10 COMMANDMENTS - 'THOU SHALT NOT THINK ABOUT PERIOD BLOOD'
PERIOD BLOOD IS SO GROSS
PERIOD BLOOD IS SO REPULSIVE, IN FACT, THAT BEING INDIRECTLY REMINDED OF SOMETHING THAT EXISTS TO SOP IT UP (A PAD) REALLY FUCKS UP MY DAY
I AM SHUDDERING RIGHT NOW
ACTUALLY I'M GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SHUDDERING AND LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY BECAUSE, LIKE FECES BUT SLIGHTLY LESS SO, PERIOD BLOOD (AND BY EXTENSION, SANITARY PADS) CAN BE FUNNY. I'M GONNA GO MAKE A MEME NOW
OKAY I'M SHUDDERING AGAIN
OKAY ACTUALLY I'M GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN SHUDDERING AND THINKING OF iPAD/TAMPONS/BLOOD PUNS.
OKAY I'M CRINGING NOW.
THE THOUGHT OF OWNING A PRODUCT -- *I'M GOING TO GO THE LONG WAY AND CALL IT THE APPLE TABLET BC I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN HANDLE TYPING THE P-WORD AGAIN WITHOUT HURLING ALL OVER MY LAPTOP* -- THAT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT MENSTRUATION IS SO, SO HORRIFYING THAT I'M NOT SURE WHETHER OR NOT I WILL ACTUALLY BUY ONE.
WILL YOU?
APPLE REALLY FUCKED THIS ONE UP. THEY MIGHT AS WELL HAVE CALLED IT THE iBANDAID. OR THE iDIAPER. OR THE iTAMPON.


I never write about anything serious here, but like, seriously, shut up you fucking babies and get a life